It's Not All About Sex: FRIENDSHIP Is The Secret To A Long-Lasting Romantic Relationship

• A good friendship creates a more committed, loving and sexually satisfying relationship, say researchers
• But those who try and satisfy their own selfish desires are less likely to sustain the bond in the longer term

A strong friendship is the secret to a long-lasting romantic relationship, new research suggests. 

Researchers found that valuing your friendship with your partner helps create relationships with more commitment, more love and greater sexual satisfaction.

People who put more emphasis on trying to satisfy their personal needs or desires through their relationship are less likely to sustain the bond in the longer term.

Partners who value their friendship tend to have more committed and loving relationships

'Romantic relationships are, at their core, friendships,' said the study's lead author Laura VanderDrift, of Purdue University in Indiana.

'As such, it may be the case that valuing that aspect of the relationship fortifies the romantic relationship ... and serves as a buffer against breaking up.

'The results indicate that valuing the friendship aspect of a romantic relationship is important to relationship quality.

'It seems likely that placing greater importance on the friendship component of the relationship relative to other components (e.g. sex) may promote lasting relationships.'

The psychologists wrote that relationship failures can lead to negative emotions, feelings of insecurity and reduced physical health.

But they added that friendship is a 'defining characteristic of love' and suggested that understanding the causes of break ups could help couples avoid that fate.

Couples who were good friends were also more sexually satisfied

The team, who report their findings in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, conducted two experiments.

The first involved 190 students who had been in a relationship for an average of 18 months at the start of the study.

They filled out questionnaires designed to assess the amount of investment they put into their relationship generally, different aspects of their relationship and their future hopes.

Four months later they were contacted again, by which time a quarter (27 per cent) were no longer with the same partner, and asked further questions about their relationship.

People who had scored highly for investing in the friendship aspect of their relationship were also more likely to score highly on romantic commitment, love and sexual satisfaction. They also tended to see increases in these elements over the four months of the study. 

Crucially, those who put the most effort into building a strong friendship with their partner were less likely to have broken up.

The second experiment involved 184 students, who had been in relationships for 16 months on average. 

They were asked to rate the value they attach to aspects of a relationship such as companionship, security, sex, self-improvement and experiencing new things on a scale of one (not at all important) to nine (extremely important).

People who rated the need for companionship and affiliation highly also tended to score higher for romantic commitment and sexual fulfilment. 

Those who rated personal needs as more important did not score as highly on commitment or sexual fulfilment.

The authors said that further research could look at the specific kinds of behaviour that influence the link between strong friendships and lasting relationships.

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10 Women Confess The One Thing Guys Do That Gets Them Into Bed Every Time

1. Let me catch you staring at me.

“I’m such a sucker for that special moment when you catch a guy who wants to fuck your brains out later staring at you. Maybe I’m reading a menu intently or looking off into space as I wait for a guy to return from the bathroom at a restaurant and I eventually turn to see him standing dead still a few feet away, admiring me. It’s better if he doesn’t say a word. He could be thinking the sweetest or the most depraved thoughts in that moment—doesn’t matter. What matters is that he’s hungry for me, and that I’m clearly the key to satisfying his needs.”

— Antonia, 30

2. Compliment the way I move.

“Sex is about action—two ravenous, naked people rolling around together as harmoniously as possible, their bodies interlocking in one position and then mutating into another—so motion is important. I would so much rather a guy comment on the way I’m gesturing or moving than say something about how I look. Maybe he tells me he likes the way I gesticulate when I’m talking 
about something passionately. Or maybe I’m leaning over to pick up a fork that fell off the dinner table “accidentally” (I’ll bait a dude if I feel like it), and he tells me, simply, ‘That was sexy.’”

— Michelle, 26

3. Single out a random part of my body.

“To me, the only thing worse than a vague comment like ‘you look so pretty’ is a remark targeted at an obvious body part, like my eyes or legs. Those fall totally flat on me. It’s like they’re recited from some box office flop of a romantic comedy. But when a guy takes note of a totally random part of my body that he genuinely appreciates (e.g. ‘you have the most delicate wrists,’ or ‘I love the constellation of freckles on your neck’), I trust him automatically because I know he’s bothered to really look at me. That’s what gets me in hump mode.”

— Paige, 27

4. Tell me what you want to do to me—somewhere in public, where it’s impossible to execute whatever the fantasy is.

“I’m a big fan of pleasure delay. So what really triggers my inner sex maniac is when a guy starts describing the things he wants to do to me when we’re somewhere out in the open (at a concert, in a restaurant, or walking down a busy street) and doing whatever he imagines is virtually impossible—for the time being. I want to be teased to the point that I’m practically begging a man to bang me by the time we’re finally back at his place, all alone.”

— Jacky, 30

5. Make me laugh.

“Oysters, strawberries, chocolate, whatever. Laughter is without a doubt the best aphrodisiac. I want a man to make me crack up as often as possible. I don’t care how hard he has to try. He can spend an hour Googling decent jokes before seeing me if humor doesn’t come naturally to him. When a man does his best make me smile so hard it hurts, I automatically want to domy best to make him squeal in the sack.”

— Lydia, 34

6. Tell me I’m hot, but when I least expect it.

“I’m not ashamed to say that I need a guy to make me feel like I’m the sexiest woman walking the planet when we’re together. What I don’t want is for him to do it at a time that’s predictable and lame. Don’t look me up and down and say, ‘You look amazing tonight,’ the second we meet up. When flattery is unexpected, it’s way more effective. Eye me all you want at first sight, but save the compliments for when I least anticipate them.”

— Jasmine, 25

7. Get me just the right level of tipsy.

“When either person gets sloppy drunk on a date, especially in the early stages, it’s a complete turnoff. If a guy’s slurring his speech and inadvertently bumping into shit, there’s no chance in hell I’m inviting his penis into my vagina. But when both of us get just the right amount of tipsy so we can cast our inhibitions aside and have a little drunken fun free from insecurity in bed, it’s the best.” 

— Ella, 31

8. Don’t tell me I’m driving you crazy—show me.

“We all know what happens when a guy gets aroused: His dick gets rock hard. What gets me going is seeing a guy’s package protrude through his pants when we’re out together. You can tell me I’m turning you on all you want but showing me is way more powerful. Just don’t be crude about it. There’s a fine line to walk between subtle sexiness and utter stupidity and immaturity when you’re dealing with a boner.”

— Clarissa, 34

9. Fall for me.

“I’m not prude like Tara Reid’s character in American Pie or anything. I don’t need to hear ‘I love you’ before taking my clothes off. But I do need some sense that you’re falling for me, and that there’s a shot that whatever’s brewing between us might just last. If things don’t work out, that’s fine. I get that we can’t be sure about how things will turn out. But I love hearing a guy hint at the fact that he sees things going somewhere. There’s no more powerful statement than ‘I think I’m falling for you.” 

— Ava, 22

10. Empower me.

“What can I say, I’m a diehard feminist. I want to fuck my equal, so a man needs to make me feel like I’m his. I fully appreciate a guy who respects me—who tells me he’s impressed by my career objectives, and can sense that I’m an ambitious woman who can and will get what she wants out of life.” 
— Alana, 28

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MUST READ!!! 5 Words To Make Her Fall Madly In Love With You

 1. “I’m So Happy That You’re In My Life.”
Hehe.. I wonder who wouldn’t love to hear that. It’s really a great word that can diffuse any doubt or dispute in your relationship.

2. “I’m Very Sorry.”
Just swallow your pride and say it’s all your fault. You have better things to do and more important rules to stand on.


3. “You’re Great At That.”
Boosting her confidence is always a good thing. Make her feel elevated by you.


4. “Please, Tell Me All About It.”
Even if she talks for 30 minutes, all you need to do is nod along and she will label you a great listener.

5. “You’re So Beautiful.”
Most men get lazy with this one the longer the relationship goes, but you should try to say it at least once a week. I say mine 20 times in a week... LOL.

How many times do you ?

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Aww! Read This Lovely Story Of Couple Who Met And Fell In Love At Dalori IDP Camp (Photos)

 Got this beautiful story from BBC, 35 year old man, Modu Bulama who came into the Dalori IDP camp after his wife and two children were killed by Boko Haram, met and fell in love with the woman pictured above with him. She is a widow who lost her husband during an attack on their community by Boko Haram.
Speaking on how they met, Modu in an interview with BBC said

    “Some religious leaders in this camp advised me not to worry about what has happened to me They also asked me to remarry. I took their advise and said I will marry as soon as I can afford to. Eventually I met her. I was able to save up. I gave her a bride price and we got married” he said

The woman who was shy to give her name said he gave her money for the dowry payment.

    “By the grace of God, I was able to give her N10,000″he said

Modu said they met right there in the camp when they were called to distribute relief materials

    “We are sometimes called to distribute relief materials. It was while distributing such materials that we met. We heard each others story and I told her that I loved her and would like to marry her.”



Asked if she played hard to get, Modu with a broad smile said

    “No, no..she didn’t play hard to get. She didn’t, she didn’t”.

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MUST READ! How You can last longer in bed, naturally

Premature ejaculation or the inability to last long while having sex is one of the most embarrassing situations for a man. And it is nit fun for the woman either because it ends all too sudden.

It is especially frustrating for a woman who takes some time before getting aroused because just as she is set to come to tune with what is happening to her, the man is done.

As a guy, the bedroom is probably the one instance where you don’t want to finish first. Sex experts agree that nothing makes you feel more insecure than coming up short when it matters most. If you’re plagued by this sexual shortcoming, relax. There are numerous ways to last longer in bed.

Here are steps you can take to last longer in bed, naturally, without taking any sex enhancement drugs.

1. Study the Kama Sutra

There is a technique mentioned in the Kama Sutra for delaying ejaculations that basically comes down to training yourself to last longer. To get to this level, you must start slowly with no more than one ‘in/out’ stroke every three seconds.

You then build more strokes slowly over the course of 4 or 5 minutes, until you are moving one stroke per second. If you start to feel like are going to come, just stop and hold yourself inside your partner until you feel in control again. Then you can begin the whole process again.

2. Get out of your head

Performance anxiety is the number one killer of sustaining an erection and lasting longer in bed. Instead, shift your thinking to a more confident inner voice, as opposed to a worried voice.

When you begin to feel anxiety, the strategy is to stop, take a breath, and then focus on how things feel in the body. Stay out of your head and get into your body, that is, focus on the feelings that your body is producing for you.

3. Change things up

The best thing to do if you’re getting close to the edge? Alter your speed, go slow or even pull out without breaking the rhythm.

Try teasing your woman, taking your penis out and rubbing just the head of it sensually up and down and between her labia. Vaginas have lots of nerve endings clustered in the lower portion of their vaginal canal, so this move will still be very enjoyable for her to experience.

4. Slow down!

Instead of the fast-paced jack-hammering style that many men are so fond of, try taking your time. Sex at a slower pace leads to a more connected experience for both partners. It’s more sensual because you are caressing and exploring the rest of her body.

Kiss her neck, nuzzle her ear, let your hands gently explore her body. The most important thing to keep in mind that will help you last longer? Enjoy the journey that leads to your destination.

5. Try a different kind of exercise

Many sex experts have often recommend exercising the PC muscles (or pubococcygeus muscle). These are the ones that stretch from the anus to the urinary sphincter. To figure out how to squeeze and contract the PC muscles, try stopping your urine flow while you’re in the middle of peeing.

You’ll know it when you try it. Three sets of 15 reps per day should do the trick.  Daily PC muscle reps help a guy to literally pump himself up. Squeezing those muscles triggers good blood flow to the penis, which in turn leads to mental confidence.

6. Practice the 7 and 9 method

This is similar to the Kama Sutra method. But the 7 and 9 technique could be more exciting because it all happens inside her and you have to be careful not to allow yourself to be carried away.

The 7 and 9 technique is a 7 fast in/out strokes, followed by 9 slow in/out strokes. Then repeat: 7 fast, 9 slow, 7 fast, 9 slow. This rhythm is good for guys who don’t last quite as long as their partner needs, and good for the ladies as it establishes a good rhythm for her stimulation too.

7. Don’t go too deep

If you feel that continued deep thrusting will bring on an all-too-quick orgasm, try penetrating only the lower portion of her vagina – in other words, take more shallow thrusts without pushing too far in. Also, alternating between shallow and deep thrusts can make you last longer, and will also make the experience a lot more fun.

8. Squeeze

The squeeze method is another that many experts have suggested over the years. There are three areas of the penis where squeezing or applying pressure can help a man sustain or maintain an erection.

You can employ the help of your woman to effectively handle the squeeze method.

For the first, make a tight ring with the index finger and thumb around the base of the shaft when it is erect, simulating a penile ring. It can help a man keep blood flow to the engorged penis.

The second: Apply pressure on the underside of the head. That’s a male hot spot, densely packed with nerves. And finally, pressing on the perineum, or the spot between the anus and the base of the testicles is another very effective squeeze technique. It will feel like the tip of the nose. If pressed with the fingers, it will congest the flow of ejaculate and help quell the early release of the erection.

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5 categories men always put women in

There are 5 categories men put women into, they are the one night stands, friends with benefits, friend zone, girlfriend and wife

1. The one night stand: Once a woman enters into the this category, the only way to get out is stop having sex with this guy. There are many reasons girls fall into these kind of categories , it’s either the guys they are sleeping with are cheating on their girlfriends or are emotionally unavailable or not attracted enough to you.

2. Friends with benefits: You guys just have sex, you are not even friends. A woman becomes a friend with benefits for two reasons, he doesn’t like her personality, he doesn’t feel he should commit to her.

3. Friendzone: The guy obviously doesn’t see you as a sexual being. He’s not physically attracted to you, only attracted to your personality. They may be attracted to you but don’t see you as a girlfriend material, could be the result of a sordid past. In some cases, if you escape the friendzone, it could lead to marriage.

4. Girlfriend: The men see you as a sexual being but not as a wife. They just need to know you a little bit more and if you are in this stage, it’s totally not your fault. All you need is time to get to know each other better. If many years down the line, there’s no mention of marriage then it looks like you don’t have what it takes to be his wife.

5. Wife: It means that he feels you have all the ingredients to make him happy.

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6 Reasons Why "Bad" Girls Get Married To Good Guys

Ever wondered why bad girls get good guys? Take a look at this. Bad girls as seen by most people in the society are girls who are excessively social.
They are brave, outgoing and daring. They seem to enjoy life to the fullest while partying hard. These are some of the girls whose lives revolve round being in clubs and never missing a happening event in the society. They know the most talked about people and are able to identify the rich and wealthy guys.


Below are some insights as to why the bad girls get hooked to the good guys.

Bad girls are smart
These girls are outgoing ladies who know how to mingle. They are ‘not dulling’ in the real sense of the word. They are most times beautiful ladies who are fashion as and pull attraction everywhere they step into. They understand that most of the good men out there have careers and could be wealthy. And to ease off the built up tension of work and other life issues, they pass out time in the clubs and bars. The good girls are hardly found in this kind of setting.

Force of attraction
Basic knowledge of Physics could be likened to real life situation here. Just like when objects that are electrically neutral with equal amounts of neutrons (negative charge) and protons (positive charge) connect when in close proximity, two individuals with different life styles bond too. Just as the protons could become negatively charged and the neutrons positively charged, the bad girl and the good guy would influence each other until they reach equilibrium. They become perfect for each other.


More experienced
The bad girls are often ‘long legged’. They seem to have been everywhere and have heard things that could guide them in their sojourn in life. They know things the good girls don’t and have firsthand experience of places. They have the ability to place the men who approach them and identify the exceptionally good ones among them. They know the players and understand the ‘no-time-to-waste-men’. They recognise potentials in the men once they see them and go extra miles to keep the men attracted to them.

Se xual satisfaction
Like most good girls who keep their legs closed, some bad girls keep theirs even closer. They taunt the men until they have built up a se xual tension in them. However, most of the bad girls are wild. They seem to explore always and know how to please the men. They could take men to different pleasurable heights before pushing them over the edge. They leave the guys in cloud nine at the end of the whole thing. Every guy wants a woman that would drive him wild in bed and give him an unforgettable time. So the bad girl is picked over the good ones here.

Relativity
One man’s meat is another man’s poison, they say. This explains why some men would deliberately choose a bad girl over a good girl even when they know about their escapades. Some bad girls after settling down with good men become submissive and trade their old habits for good ones. Men’s choice can’t be fully ascertained as one could never be sure of the magnetic force between them and the bad girls.

Compulsory retirement
There’s time for everything. The bad girls can’t remain bad forever. They get tired of their old ways at certain points in time. They calm down and mellow when they have seen it all. This doesn’t make them less desirable, they remain piping hot because they maintain their dress sense and good looks. In fact, they become better people with improved mannerism and are able to live responsibly after. 

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How To Know He Is Not Worth To Be A Boyfriend

 

How do you know your Nigerian boyfriend is lazy bone? without much ado, let's go straight to the center of gravity.

1. He's always broke. If your boyfriend is always complaining of lack of fund and cannot take the financial responsibilities of things such as, shopping, house rent, food e.t.c he's not worthy.

2. He smokes weed. Weed smokers are like monkeys that's happy with the bananas but doesn't know the bananas will later cause their ruin. Guys that smokes weed can be loud, outgoing but they are d worst type of boyfriends you can ever imagine of keeping.


3. He procrastinates responsibilities that must be done and shifts the blame on you.

4. He's always having time for sex/demanding for sex than the betterment of the relationship. he simply wants to use you and dumb.

5. Have you ever watched him argue, fight, carrying sticks and bottles e.t.c weapons before he can defend himself or disrespecting elders? don't be impressed by such display.. he suppose to resolve matters amicably in a more matured way rather than to fight.

6. Is he a chronic gossiper that cannot keep secretes of the relationship? it simply means he's lazy and immature with it.(double wahala).

7.  Does he pop pills, alcohol before he can perform sexually? you don't want to marry such man.

8. Is he of help in the house chores like cleaning, cutting grasses in the garden/compound, washing, can he cook?

9. Is he having a reliable and secured job? This matters in every relationships.

10. Lastly, boyfriend must be more of action than end time talkative s...who only knows how to see your mistakes without seeing theirs. tosyne2much will belong to this category.

11. He must be hygienic.

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7 tips on how to date the second time round

Thinking about moving on but worried about getting back out there again? We've got some advice that'll help to boost your confidence

Starting a new relationship after the end of a marriage or long-term partnership can be daunting. So we asked psychologist Sophia Ledingham for her top tips on making your new romance flourish…

1. Learn from your mistakes

What can you take away from your past relationship to help your new romance? Make a list of all the good and bad points, and try to stick to the good ones. Most people learn from their failed partnerships and are more mindful of how they behave with someone new. Indeed, research shows that those who enter marriage for the second time invest more.

2. Keep your ex in check

As they say, two’s company and three’s a crowd. Not that you’ll be inviting your ex on your dates, but just be careful of talking too much about him or her. It’s a given that you have a past and it’s normal to mention them now and again, but frequent references to your ex- whether positive or negative - can send a message that you’re not really over them and not ready for a new relationship.

3. Create new traditions            

Try out new things that you haven't done before

Be careful of taking your new guy or girlfriend to the same places you went to with your ex. Our environment sub-consciously gives us behaviour reminders, so if your last relationship didn’t have the best dynamic, revisiting old haunts might reawaken bad habits. If you went to the pub quiz every Wednesday, try a salsa class instead.

4. Smile

And smile some more. This will help you to be more positive and upbeat, which is a great combination – and research shows smiling can actually make you look younger! Positive emotion catches, so as you re-enter a new relationship be sensitive to the impact of your attitude. A smile and optimistic outlook will prime the relationship for romance.

5. Make a plan for bed

No longer in the first flush of young love, you can be more grown-up (if you want) about when to make love. Consider when the right time is for you to have sex. There’s no hard and fast rule. If you find yourself mistrustful of your new partner’s commitment or intent, then hold out until they introduce you to their friends or family.

6. Protect yourself            

Make sure you're happy when dating

As you know, not all liaisons last or pan out as you hoped, so keep yourself busy with meaningful activities outside the relationship. Whether it’s learning new skills, signing up to a club or spending time with others who make you feel good. This way, you’re not dependent on the success of the romance for a positive sense of self.

7. Open up with your kids

It’s amazing what they pick up. There’s little point trying to hide a new romance from hormonal teens, or young adults. I would recommend keeping it real and reminding them – and yourself – that you’re having fun, but you’re not sure it will last forever (or even for the next year).

Source: Mirror.co

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When A Relationship Wasn’t Defined: See Hilarious Conversation

This conversation really happened between a lady and the boyfriend she thought she had. Drop your comments

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11 Things You Should Never, Ever Put Inside Your v**ina

Don’t even think about it.

We’re pretty attached to our v**ina, especially since it brings so much fun into our lives. But we keep trying to bring some really inappropriate things into the fun.

While we may think it’s exciting and kinky to be adding foods and shiny toys to play time, we really need to be a lot more careful about what goes in there, specifically, these ten things:

1. Fruit and vegetables
Bananas and cucumbers have been notoriously labeled as the “naughty” or a “let me try that just once” gadget due to its shape, size, and easy accessibility during experimental years.

But Dr. Yvonka, a clinical sexologist, warns against it: “This is a big no-no and can be quite risky health-wise due to the variety of little critters and bacteria it is exposed to!”

No matter how well you clean those fruits and veggies, chances are they’re still carrying around critters, dirt, and bacteria. Food in general is a good idea to keep above the belt, not below.
Just because they’re man-hood-shaped doesn’t mean they belong near your v**ina.

2. Douches
Douching can reduce natural bacteria in the v**ina, introduce foreign bacteria, and irritate the mucous lining.
It’s also been scientifically linked to pelvic inflammatory disease, chlamydia, gonorrhea, bacterial vaginitis, cervical cancer, reduced fertility, and ectopic pregnancy, says Taylor Stokes, a sexpert at Free Your V.

3. Hair dye
Sure, we all want to show men our pink, heart-shaped welcome mat. But beware: our skin down there is way more sensitive than on our head, meaning hair-dye related burns and irritations are far more likely.
And if you’re really adamant about dyeing your pubic hair, do your research first and find products that are free of irritants.

4. Certain lubricants
Lubes that contain parabens, petrochemicals, DEA, glycerin, methylisothiazolinone, and fragrance are a big no-no. Many of these ingredients are linked to cancer, hormone balance disruption, and skin irritations, says Stokes.
Also be aware that oil-based lubes are thicker and harder to cleanse out of your lady parts, which can lead to infection.

5. Living things
Whatever floats your boat, ladies. But just realize that animals may decide they like it better in your v**ina and stick around, says Jason S. James, M.D., and medical director of FemCare Ob-Gyn, LLC.
I mean, should “animals” and “your v**ina” even be used in the same sentence

6. Sharp objects
“I’ve heard of knitting needles getting stuck,” says Dr. James. This also includes fragile items like light bulbs and glass bottles.

7. Dirty toilet paper
Ladies, this goes without saying, but ALWAYS wipe front to back. Not doing so can result in fecal matter making its way into your v**ina, leading to infection.

8. Medications
Medications, drugs, and alcohol can become absorbed in too high quantities because the v**ina is very vascular and absorbs chemicals very efficiently, says Dr. James.
There’s an urban legend about women placing vodka-laced tampons in their v**ina to absorb the martini-buzz into their bloodstream. But NO, this is NOT a good idea.

9. Soft plastic s*x toys
Because s*x toys are sold as “novelty items,” they’re not FDA-regulated for body safety. Many toy manufacturers don’t even list the ingredients in their toys, leaving us in the dark about what we’re putting into and around our vaginas.

“Many soft plastic/rubber toys are made with phthalates, some of which have been designated as possible human carcinogens,” says Dr. Emily Morse, a s*x expert.
These softer plastic, rubber, or “jelly-like” s*x toys can undergo wear and tear, and develop cuts and nicks that tiny microbes and infection-causing bacteria can live in, says Morse.

10. Bodies of water
Pools and jacuzzis seem like an inviting environment for s*x …

But “These man-made recreational bodies of water are always chlorinated, and chlorine may disrupt the natural pH balance in the v**ina. Lakes, ponds, rivers, streams, and all natural bodies of water are host to a whole gang of microbes and bacteria that can be harmful to the v**ina.

s*x in these bodies of water can force this bacteria into the v**ina, leaving it vulnerable to bacterial infections, irritation, etc.,” says Morse.

So, ladies, be careful with what you put down below.

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Ladies; See 5 Reasons Why Your Vag!na Is Going Dry, MUST READ!!!

 
1. Your Body Craves More Foreplay
The typical rom-com s3x scene goes from locking lips to full-on !ntercourse in about 30 seconds. In the real world, we call b.s.—most women need at least a little more direct stimulation before they’re wet enough for penetrat1on, says Dweck.



2. You’re Stressed Out
Stress takes the blame for a lot of health issues, and you can add vag1nal dryness to the list. If it doesn’t temporarily kill your lib!do outright, feeling anxious or pressured can make it harder to get turned on, says Dweck. Once the stress lifts, your juices should start flowing.


3. You’re on Cold Meds
“Over-the-counter cold and allergy formulas contain antihistamines that dry out the mucus membranes in your nose, as well as your vag1na,” says Dweck. Not all women experience it, but it can happen, and things will moisten up again once you stop dosing up.

4. Your Birth Control Pill Is Messing With You
“One little-known side effect of oral contracept1ves is reduced vag1nal lubrication,” says Dweck. And unlike some other side effects that happen when you first go on the Pill, this one probably won’t clear up in a few months. “I’ll usually advise my patients to use store-bought lubricant, or if it’s really uncomfortable, consider going off the Pill and trying another type of birth control,” she says.

5. You Just Had a Baby
Giving birth (and breastfeeding, too) does a number on your body and changes your s3x life in unexpected ways, including lowering levels of estrogen—the hormone responsible for maintaining v@ginal lubrica tion. A few months post-birth, when your regular cycle returns and you stop lactating, the slippery stuff will be back.

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Woman Turns Down Boyfriend’s Marriage Proposal For Most Unbelievable Reason Reason

Getting married because you love someone is so last year, this year it’s all about the size of the diamond.

That’s according to this young woman anyway, who turned down her boyfriend’s marriage proposal because the diamond on the ring was too small.

The poor guy had gone to some effort to put a ring on it as well, getting down on one knee while a troop of hired dancers performed an elaborate display for the lucky lady.

She initially appeared to be overcome by the moment, starting to cry as he made his move, but this emotion soon switched to anger as she was confronted by the size of the diamond.

One eyewitness to the event in Chengdu, China, told local TV: “Her eyes went wide as she put her hand over her mouth, and then she turned around and walked away without saying anything.”

Ice cold. And a screenshot of a conversation she had with a mate afterwards has been leaked, with her allegedly saying:

   " But he agreed to buy me a diamond ring as large as one carat.

    Why was this one so small?

    Is he so careless or has he ever cared about me?"

Before the friend replies:

    "Don’t worry.

    Perhaps the bigger one will be waiting for you later or he hasn’t prepared it for this time."


Wonders upon wonders

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Ladies! Here are 10 Things You Shouldn't Do When You Meet a New Guy

Some Ladies today wonder why after a guy has shown interest in them or after 2/3 dates he disappears or doesn't return their phone calls, text, whatsapp or bbms, a celeb writer has answered this question...a must read!

Ladies, 10 things you shouldn’t do when you meet a new guy or new catch.

1. Don’t take your friends along with you when he invites you on a date
2. Don’t go to his house unannounced

3. Don’t ask him for money
4. Don’t compare him to your ex or talk about your ex, only if he requests
5. Don’t get drunk on your first outing with him
6. Don’t wear see through or exposing outfits on your first outings
7. Don’t bore him with all your family or personal issues
8. Don’t talk about Marriage
9. Don’t pry about the size of his pocket, his earnings or the car he drives
10. Don’t be too quick to post his picture on instagram, Facebook, (social media) etc.
Some Ladies today wonder why after a guy has shown interest in them or after 2/3 dates he disappears or doesn’t return their phone calls, text, whatsapp or bbms. I have listed some of these reasons above, below is more explanations.

(1) Don’t take your friends along when he invites you on a date:
Some Nigerian Ladies for some reason that is beyond me, take their friends on a date with a guy they just met. I can attest to this because it has happened to me before. No positive outcome can come out of this but some of the negatives are: (i) The guy will be turned off (ii) He may start liking or prefer one for your friends to you (iii) He will never get the opportunity to know you as much as he wants because of the 3rd wheel (iv) He may think you don’t have a mind of your own (v) He may turn you and your friends back

(2) Don’t go to his house unannounced:
One thing a man hates the most is for you to show up at his house unannounced or invited especially when he just met you. That’s a “NO NO” because he’ll just think you’re a stalker or a psycho and he’ll act out.. Some ladies out of emotions and lack of trust show up at a guys house, what they don’t know is they are pushing him away or giving him reasons to leave


(3) Don’t ask him for Money:
Some Ladies meet a guy and in less than 2/3 weeks the demands start rolling in. Please pay for my Brazilian hair, buy me birkin / Chanel bag for my birthday next week, my rent is due, or plain & simply, I need 500k or 1 million. Most guys would take off when they meet a Lady like this. They would say she’s opportunistic and compare her to the ladies who are not asking them for a kobo or dime.

(4) Don’t compare him to your ex or talk about your ex, only if he requests:
Some Ladies compare and contrast their new guy to their old one, not only in their mind but to his face as well. They say things like my Ladi used to take me to KFC you’re taking me to Mr Biggs, Jide bought me Prada for my birthday last year you’re buying me Zara? . Guys hate being compared, it punctures their Ego so allow him be the Boss and take you out, don’t compare or dictate terms of dates or gifts.

(5) Don’t be to quick to upload his pictures on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter (Social Media):
Ladies, you just met a guy, a new flame, the relationship is at its early stages, there’s still so much you don’t know about him why upload his pictures for the world to see? The relationship may not even be defined yet.. By doing this, you’re giving people room to influence and alter your infant relationship.

Also you don’t want to be like those people who have to cleanse their instagram and Facebook pages of a guys picture every 6 months because of a breakup. Some ladies have a new boyfriend on Instagram every 3 weeks, after a heartbreak they delete old pictures and add new ones.

(6) Don’t wear see through or exposing outfits on your first date:
Guys are very Impulsive and instinctive by nature, by wearing a dress or gown that’s says “S3X” that’s all that will be on his mind and nothing else. He won’t want to hear anything about you anymore; your personality, your job, your family etc. All he’ll be thinking about is how he’ll take you to his house or hotel room because you’ve sent him a signal saying you want s3x.

(7) Don’t bore him with your Family issues:
Some ladies carry their personal or family problems out with them on dates, instead of making waves and progress with their new guy, they talk about how their house got burnt last week, or how their friend always borrows money or clothes from them, or how they hate their sisters or brothers.. All these are TMI (Too Much Information) Focus on him and let him Focus on you.. Don’t allow extraneous variables creep in and take over your conversation.

(8) Don’t talk about marriage or the future:
The number one thing guys are scared of after God is the “C” or “M” word. “Commitment or Marriage” so if you just met a guy and you’re already talking about marriage or children he is definitely going to take off and say you’re putting him under pressure and he can’t keep up.. Let him be the one to bring it up not you because he’ll say you’re desperate.

(9) Don’t pry about his pocket, earnings or the car he drives:
A friend of mine went on a Blind Date at Radisson (Lagos) to meet a Lady who his cousin had introduced him to through Instagram. He complained he had not even ordered a drink when his date asked him: What car do you drive? That was her first question.. “What do you drive?” He said he wondered do you want to date me? Or date my car? Most guys would be offended by this and even have a negative impression about you immediately, because a guy would wonder do u like me or my car?. Focus on him, his future plans etc

(10) Don’t get drunk on your first outing with him:
Firstly Ladies, this is for your own safety a lot of ladies have been taken advantage of because they were intoxicated. You also don’t want to embarrass yourself and say or do things that you can’t defend or verify.
About the Author:

Adejoro Olumofin is a Psychologist, Business Executive, Socialite, Blogger and Fashion Junkie

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Do You Agree That Short Men Have Few Lovers?

SHORT men really do miss out on s*x, according to a study. Researchers looking at how people’s height and weight affected the number of sexual partners they had had found short men had the least. However, they were surprised to note that tall men did not always have the best s*x lives.

 
LoversThe study of 60,058 heterosexual men and women aged 30 to 44 found that their average number of sexual partners was eight.
Researchers said there was little difference in the number of partners across the height range with one exception—very short men. While men of other heights had a median of seven sexual partners, those between 5ft 2in and 5ft 4in had only five, the team from Chapman University, California, found.
Regarding weight, normal and overweight men reported the most sexual partners, while underweight men had the least. Underweight women also had notably fewer partners, said the journal Evolutionary Psychology.

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Any Lady That Says YES To These Questions Can’t Remain Single For Long

Its really amazing how ladies fear the possibility of remaining unmarried for a long time stretching into their late twenties and thirties.
I have seen countless number of naija spinsters visit many prayer houses to seek spiritual guide and advice just to be a mrs and while so many will quickly come out to say they are unperturbed,the truth is that deep inside of them they hope that they just find the “right man” fast enough and start raising a family before reaching their menopause age.


Many ladies do not need prayer and fasting and in most cases,there is no spiritual atta ck from anywhere but these ladies are their own pitfalls and the simple truth is that 90% of unmarried ladies in their late 20s and 30s have no business still remaining single.

Considering the present global socio economy siituations expecially in a country like ours,here are 5 very vital questions to ask yourself as a lady and the more you give a NO to each of these 5 questions the harder it may be for you to get a man to marry you.

1.Can you start a life with a man in one room ?:
Many ladies have boyfriends who live in this type of apartment and infact they have spent some nights with him in that same one room apartment and the guy has lost count of how many times he has scr wd you in any imaginable ways but when it comes to marriage you will foolishly say you can’t marry into one room apartment.

Sorry is your second name and i strongly pity you.Most men who own mansions today started their lives in one room so if you are ok being scre wd in one room but you can not marry same man living in one room then you are not only clueless but foolish and be ready to be dumped after he has really had you to his fullness.

2.Can you marry a struggling man who has no regular job?:
Oh i can imagine some ladies answering LAI! LAI!,MBA NUNU! GOD FORBID and so on to this particular question but please let me ask you”why date a struggling guy or allow him srw you at will yet cant marry him?” strange and foolish i must say.

It is important to know that as long as that man is not lazy,his break through will come and must come.How many ladies have given up an affair because they feel the guy has no job just to realize a year latter that he is gainfully employed or he has started a profitable business and they start feeling bad for not being patient enough.

Ok what is even the guaranty that the ones who have good jobs or business can not experience a crazy turn around? many ladies have lost their chance with a vibrant vision driven man just because they are waiting to say yes to a man who has a job rather than for them to also find something doing that will make them financially independent while the guy has enough space to pursue his dreams.Believe it or not 95% of the rich or successful guys you see today have passed through a struggling phase.

3.Can you have a very low budget wedding?:
Now i want every reasonable lady reading this to understand that marital union and marriage ceremony are 2 different things.

Most times when you hear words like “my guy is not ready yet for marriage” what this simply implies is that the guy is NOT READY FOR A BIG MARRIAGE CEREMONY and not that he is not mentally,psychologically and emotionally ready but because our young ladies are overwhelmed with that one day celebration,they will never ever plan any wedding with a man who does not have the money to give them a flamboyant wedding and this is one major reasons why many ladies remain single for a very long time.

Have you looked around to see many graduates still struggling in their 30s with no assurance that a job or business will come up tomorrow? Are you among the myopic ladies who get carried away by a flamboyant wedding ceremony rich parents organize for their children?

   Who says you can’t have a marriage ceremony with N50,000 budget where a man pays the bride price and proceed to the registry with you and when the money starts coming in you two can do another big time wedding ceremony so why put yourself in bondage of having a compulsory big time wedding before you can be a mrs?

 Why are you giving that guy a good reason to continue using you,saying he is not ready for marriage ceremony but doing all the imaginable things a man will do to a wife on you.

For my igbo sisters i will advice you to appeal to the elders at home to understand that the fact that few of you are lucky to have a guy pay so much or spend so much on a marriage ceremony against all odds does not erase the fact that countless number of Igbo girls are been courted but not married in a timely manner due to the high expenses involved.

4.Can you marry a man who loves you but is not your preferred spec?:
Yes there is nothing absolutely wrong in having a picture of who you want and while some ladies are very fortunate to find such,many have lived in a fantasy world hoping to meet that man who has those qualities they dream of just to wait and wait until they become old waiting for an “ideal man”

In marriage there is nothing like a bad or good choice neither do we have an ideal or non ideal man but its about your choice.Many ladies want a tall,cute,rich.GOD fearing,romantic guy and its so amazing how some ladies will never shift ground and when that short caring and loving guy comes their way they hush him and start running after a prince charming that feels nada for them,what a shame.

Stop having this myopic belief that there is an ideal man out there,no man has it all and all you need to look out for is a man who truly desires and deserves you. If you like keep waiting and screening until you become the object of screening yourself. Be wise.

5.Can you marry a man with a wide age gap to you:
This is one of the most dangerous mistakes many ladies make. For crying out loud, except a lady just wants to play around,i do not see why a teenage girl will be dating a fellow teenager or a lady in her early twenties will be dating a guy of just a year or two older than her because when she eventually becomes ripe for marriage, in most cases this guy is still jumping around and fulfilling his sexual fantasies.

Yes age is nothing but a number but in most cases, ladies who date or court guys with wide age gaps like 8years or more tend to end up as a wife to the guy while most ladies who at their young ages started an affair with guys of close age proximity are usually left heart broken latter in life because most guys in the 20s are probably still playing around and not even psych0logically ready for marital union.

So when i hear a 23 year old lady telling a guy in his 30s that he is too old for her i just laugh at her ignorance. If you are a teenager reading this or a lady in your early twenties,i will advice that except you just want to play around,you should date or court guys with wide age gap to avoid had i known.YES THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS to this but most times my assertion holds true.
I hope these write up makes sense to those who want to see sense in it.

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Guys Dont lose that special Girl – Check out 7 Reasons Why Women Leave Men They Love

It’s strange when women walk out of relationships in which they claim to love the men.
Sign of a 'cracked relationship'.
Sign of a ‘cracked relationship’.

It’s really confusing; how could you claim to love someone and then walk out on them? How easy is it leaving someone your heart finds happiness in? On the women’s part, it’s a pretty tough decision they struggle to make. They bear the burden of initiating that move forever. Many women walk out of marriages, some leave their children and homes behind.


Below are some of the reasons women leave the men they love

1. No Attention
Women can’t put up with having absentee men in their lives. A man who is hardly home, working all the meaningful hours of the day off, watching TV, playing games and doing things that doesn’t involve the woman’s active participation may be walked out on. His endless list of activities give the woman the impression those things are more important than her. Neglect doesn’t go well with women generally. Women leave when they notice the men are starting to take them for granted.

2. Domestic Violence
Some women are unlucky; they seem to fall for the wrong guys at all times. Women who have suffered domestic often make excuses for these men and find reasons to stay despite the abuse. Through the help of counseling, some women are being liberated and are starting to discover themselves and live life to the fullest. Hence, women leave men they love if they are wild and abusive.

3. Boredom
Some women leave men they love simply because their presence doesn’t make them feel alive. They find themselves lonely even when these men are around them. This means they no longer find happiness in those men. They start to feel miserable and depressed. They opt out of the relationship before they lose themselves.

4. No Passionate Love Making
No matter the emotions involved, most women cannot stand being with men who are incapable of unscrewing all the nuts in their bodies. Women want men who would do pleasurable things to them, dump them in the ocean of passion and leave them asking for more. S3x is important to women; it keeps them connected to the men. When men can’t satisfy the s3xual urges of the women, the women come up with various reasons to leave them.

5. Being Cheated On
Some women leave the men they love when they discover they are being cheated on. Sharing men isn’t something that is alluring to most women. At that moment they start to feel the love is one sided and they would never be appreciated. They see no reason to stay in that relationship regardless of the love they have for the men. Instead of doing something stupid or wallowing in sadness, they muster all the strength they could and leave men like that.

6. Friends’ Opinions
Same way women share the happy moments of their relationships with friends, they also share their discontentment when the men in their lives display irrational behaviors. Their friends in turn relate other people’s experiences and lend them the support they need to move in and leave men like that.

7. Guilt
Some women leave men they love simply because they are filled with guilt; they could have cheated or have secrets of infidelity they can’t afford to get exposed. Staying in the relationship could put them at risk of being humiliated. Therefore, they leave the relationship with their heads held high while they could. They walk out of the men they love before the truth gets out.

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